Dec 06 2008
i am not who i am..
You know what is the biggest fear and the most frightening things? is when you felt that you are no longer the person that you think you are..u start to think about things that you know you are suppose to think and do things that you will never do..slowly..bits by bits..you are turning into a person that even you yourself fear about..this is what i am feeling rite now..
day by day..i can feel thhat i am not who am i anymore…from outside..i am trying to be ..or should i say disguised..or impose as wai yee..but actually i am not…i am not even sure myself..when is the time of me..when i am actually “real”..when i am talking with my parents? (nope…sounding happy..but actually lots of things in the mind) in front those closest to me? (no…i don’t even know..how i carry myself in front of them) in front of my classmates? (not even close too) in work place ( not the answer as well)
i felt that i am like those clamouflaging lizards..changes and blending myself with the people and environment around me..having multiple personalities…
maybe is really the time to change a new environment and get involve with different lifestlye and different people..to know myself again…
One response so far
you know something… it’s ok to feel that way. you’re getting new perceptions towards life and needs some time to adjust. don’t worry about how you act now. just remember not to hurt anyone you love or cherish. -kelvin
btw, are you back in msia yet??